WHO IS HEALTHY?

Antonio Gates – No one knows if Gates will play.  Don’t expect to hear anything until game time.  Either a trainer is going to stick a big needle in his toe or he will be in a velour baby blue jumpsuit on the sideline.

If the thought of Gates not playing scares you keep in mind that the Colts lost one of their best players for the entire year, Dwight Freeney, in week 10 vs. our San Diego Chargers.  No big needle will allow Freeney to play this week.

Lorenzo Neal – The best blocking fullback in football and future Hall of Famer is practicing after breaking his leg.   It is not yet known if he will be able to light fools up this week.  Memo to coaches if he plays, please don’t try to use “trickery” by handing him the ball on 4th and 1.

Lo Neal reminds me of Ram Man from He-Man, minus the axe.

Marvin Harrison – Harrison hasn’t played since Week 5 with a knee injury.  He is listed as questionable but expected to play.    My crazy conspiracy theory of the week is that Harrison had surgery and the Colts kept this a secret from everyone.  I also believe that dinosaurs are fake because according to Carl Everett, no one has ever seen a dinosaur and the bible doesn’t say anything about them.

They look real to me Carl

CHARGER FANS NEED TO SHOW THESE GUYS SOME LOVE

Phil Rivers – I love his shit talking, errr passion.  Charger fans are pussies and have not yet embraced this guy the way they should.  Yeah he is cocky and has an arrogant smile, but that’s fucking rad because he plays for OUR team.  In his first season as a starter he led us to a 14-2 season and went to the Pro Bowl.  At 6’5 he is a physical specimen and weight room junkie.  He is a winner.  He has won at every level.  He has led us to come from behind victories (last year Cincinnati game and this year’s regular season and playoff game against a tough Titans team).  The guy never quits.  If Rivers has time to throw he will make plays.

Norv Turner – The media loves to hate on Norv Turner.  You know what I say to that?  Fuck the media.  Norv could have easily lost this team after a 1-3 start.  Instead we won our division, won our first playoff game in 14 years and the team is peaking at the right time.  I am also starting to dig his play calling of pushing the ball down the field.  Our WRs were wide open last weekend.

Show these guys some love.  With them running the team we have won 7 games in a row.

The dynamic duo

SPECIAL TEAMS MATTER

-MIKE SCIFRES should be in the Pro Bowl.  He drops dimes on fools.

-Please take care of the ball SPROLES.  We don’t need another Eric Parker incident.

-Kasim Osgood you are the best around.

-David Binn is the only Charger left from the 1994 Super Bowl team.  He has also had sexual intercourse with Pamela Anderson.  He gets my vote for best all around long snapper.

Would Hepatitis C stop you from long snapping with Pamela?

THE TURNOVER BATTLE

The Chargers led the league with 48 takeaways and turnover margin of plus -24.  Who was second in both categories?  The Colts with 37 takeaways and turnover margin of plus-18.

BOB SANDERS IS OVERATED

Bob Sanders was voted AP Defensive Player of the year.  Every writer in America has a boner for this guy because he is 5’8.  How could he have had a better year than Antonio Cromartie who only received three votes for this honor?  Once again, no love for a Bolt.

CONGRATS TO ALL OUR ASSOCIATED PRESS ALL PRO’S

Three Chargers were named to the team Associated Press All Pro team on Wednesday.  LaDainian Tomlinson was a unanimous selection.  Also named, Antonio Cromartie and Lorenzo Neal.

AROUND THE LEAGUE QUICK THOUGHTS

The NFC is boring.

Is there any question that the AFC is the dominate league?  The road to the Super Bowl is looking harder these days if you are an AFC team.

The Tony Romo/ Jessica Simpson story is retarded.

The only problem I have with Romo going to Cabo with Jessica Simpson is that her father went with them.  I hope he taxed that dingo up all weekend and the walls were thin enough for Joe to here.  I never want to know what it feels like/sounds like listening to your daughter get plowed by an NFL pro.

Even with Romo going to Cabo, Dallas should be fine and even finer if T.O. is healthy.  Just make sure Romo isn’t the holder on special teams.  We all know how that went last year.

The Simpson PR machine was hard at work in Mexico this past weekend

With Sunday’s match up against the Colts approaching I am looking for every reason to hate Peyton Manning.  It’s not as easy to hate Peyton Manning as it is to hate d!ckhe@d Tom Brady. See the Stetson add below.

Cowboy Brady. Barf

Peyton Manning is a really good QB.  He scores mad freaking fantasy football points.  He makes players around him better.  He made me laugh with his SNL United Way skit and some of his commercials, “laser rocket arm” comes to mind…But I am going to take my best shot…

Why I hate Peyton Manning (this week)

Reason #1

The one smudge on Mr. Manning’s resume is his “incident” with assistant  trainer Jamie Ann Naughright while at Tennessee.  This excerpt is from Wikipedia….so you know it has to be true
In 1996, while still quarterback at the University of Tennessee , Manning dropped his pants while being treated by assistant athletic trainer Jamie Ann Naughright. After an investigation, the university concluded the incident was a “mooning” gone awry and not sexual in nature, and Manning was disciplined and required to apologize in writing to Naughright.[48] The university chose to settle Naughright’s sexual harassment claims (which included the Manning incident) for $300,000.[49] In 2003, Manning settled a 2002 lawsuit filed by Naughright for $300,000. In the suit Naughright alleged that “Manning: A Father, His Sons and a Football Legacy”, a book written by Manning, his father and author John Underwood, defamed her.[50]

A MOONING GONE AWRY?  How does a mooning go awry?  Nothing is good when the word awry is used to describe what happened.  Here are some scenarios where a mooning may have gone awry.

Instead of bending over, pulling your pants down and spreading your ass cheeks so some unsuspecting person can see your asshole, you –

A.Show an unsuspecting person your cock.

B.Show an unsuspecting person your cock with a prop or hidden in a prop (hot dog in a bun joke).

C.Show an unsuspecting person your scrotum

D.Show an unsuspecting person a picture of a passed out person with your scrotum on their forehead.

E.Show an unsuspecting person your boner.

Scenarios A. B. C and D. are all surprisingly funny and acceptable in a locker room setting around a bunch of meat heads

However, scenario E. is crossing the line.

Peyton Manning you should be ashamed of yourself.  Grow up.  Leave the assistant trainer alone.  Petyon Manning is perverted in my book.

Reason #2  Why I don’t like Peyton Manning (this week)

His snap counts and audibles.  We get it.  You changed the play.  Just hike the ball.  Blazer! Blazer! Omaha Omaha Hut hut HUT Omaha! Blazer! blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I also don’t like your three strep drops, your five step drops, your seven step drops, your play action fakes, and you making your key reads.

Reason #3 Why I hate Peyton Manning (this week)

THIS GUY.

Close your eyes because the below picture burns.  Whoever thought this photo shoot was a good idea is a moron.  Eli should be flagged fifteen yards for unnecessary g@yness.  Still, I am sure there is some freak out there that has this picture scotch-taped to his or her wall. Errr locker.  Than means you # 10.

Put a shirt on Elisha.

Thank you Eli for being a little bitch and crying with your Daddy on draft day in 2004 that, “we don’t want to play in San Diego. Waaaaaaaa!”  And thank you NY Giants for Shawn Merriman.

Your DNA sucks Peyton Manning.  I hate you because of your family’s hatred toward San Diego.

Suck it Peyton and suck it Manning family.

-Homer Freer

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

TURN THE LIGHTS OUT ON THE TITANS SEASON!

The play of the game and the turning point in Sunday’s victory…

Shawne Merriman crushing Chris Brown and forcing a fumble that was recovered by Shaun Phillips.  Merriman also recorded a sack and Phillips finished the game with 9 tackles.  Your head better be on a swivel this week “Blazer on 3.”

LT IS GOOD

He can jump high also.

Some additional Homer facts for you

Rob Bironas’ 30 yard field goal was the first points allowed by the Chargers in the first quarter at home this entire season.

The Chargers defense has not allowed a rushing touchdown by an opponent at home this year.

After allowing 5 sacks in their first meeting with the Titans, the Chargers O-Line only allowed 1 sack the entire game.

BOOYAH!

-Homer Freer

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Friday, January 4, 2008

NOTE:  The game will be televised live on KFMB Channel 8 at 1:30 p.m.

Where do I begin with this?

You’d have to be a total moron to think that the NFL would blackout a home-playoff game in the hosting city… hence the extension until 1:30PM today.  I dare the NFL to Blackout a playoff game!  Most likely, they would start a riot and severely impact future ticket sales for one the NFL’s most exciting teams.  The negatives always outweigh the positives in not televising good football and even the corporate goons at the NFL front office know this.

Games = Marketing & Advertising = $$$$$

If you blackout a game, then you can’t charge as much for the marketing & advertising.  The NFL is not in the business of producing football games to get less than full value for their market so they try to scare us(the fans) in to shouldering their ticket quota, so they can charge millions more for ad time.

This morning, the NFL was threatening to blackout our home-playoff game because there were 350 tickets that still needed to be sold.  Let’s assume every ticket was $150(Overestimate).

$150 x 350(tickets) = $52,500

DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY WOULD BLACKOUT A GAME FOR $52,500?

PLEASE!  They get $50K as a down payment for one of the 500 crappy commercials that air during the game.  That amount of money is chump-change to the NFL, but they get to charge the advertisers a LOT more for their crappy commercials when the game is sold out.  So for the extra $52,500 that San Diegans coughed up, the NFL gets to market a “Sold Out” game to advertisers and make millions more than they would’ve otherwise.

If the NFL had enforced the BLACKOUT, they would’ve lost far more than $52,500 for 350 measly tickets.  So the next time you hear about a Chargers – Blackout, just remember that it is not in their best interest to do so and corporate America will always do what is best for their bottom line!  We’re not 1-14 anymore and this is not a regular season game against one of the leagues worst teams.