The train wreck that is Gary Coleman’s life once again exited the station.  Coleman, now 40 years old, married Shannon Price a 22-year-old “ginger” that specializes in selling Coleman memorabilia on E-bay.  I wonder what new items Price will be trying to put up for sale on E-bay post honeymoon.

The happy news about Gary’s marriage to some red headed freckled freak got me reminiscing about Coleman’s brilliant career.  For hardcore Padres fans and TV fanatics you will remember Coleman starred in the 1979 television movie THE KID FROM LEFT FIELD.

Gary Coleman is batboy, Jackie Robinson ‘J.R.’ Cooper.  I am surprised they also didn’t try to fit “Roberto Clemente Lou Gehrig” in his name.  For some ridiculous reason Coleman becomes manager of the San Diego Padres.   He guides the Padres from worst to first and a World Series berth with secret tips from his washed-up ex-player father Robert Guillaume (aka BENSON).  I think the term washed-up meant alcoholic in the 70’s.

Guillaume plays Larry Cooper, a former big leaguer now working as a refreshment salesman at Jack Murphy Stadium.  “Peanuts, Crackerjacks here.”   (On a side note Carmelo Martinez sold nachos at Petco Park last season.)  There is also some Kramer vs. Kramer side story going on about the custody of this 11 year old running around unsupervised and managing a professional sports franchise.  TV movies in the 70’s were fucking rad!

We at San Diego Sportswire salute you Gary Coleman for finding love and losing your virginity.  We hope this marriage is a good omen for the Padres upcoming season and that the Colman “mojo” will once again lead the Padres to a World Series berth.

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