THOUGHTS ON THE DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS


Jessie Football

WHO IS HEALTHY?

Antonio Gates – No one knows if Gates will play.  Don’t expect to hear anything until game time.  Either a trainer is going to stick a big needle in his toe or he will be in a velour baby blue jumpsuit on the sideline.

If the thought of Gates not playing scares you keep in mind that the Colts lost one of their best players for the entire year, Dwight Freeney, in week 10 vs. our San Diego Chargers.  No big needle will allow Freeney to play this week.

Lorenzo Neal – The best blocking fullback in football and future Hall of Famer is practicing after breaking his leg.   It is not yet known if he will be able to light fools up this week.  Memo to coaches if he plays, please don’t try to use “trickery” by handing him the ball on 4th and 1.

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Lo Neal reminds me of Ram Man from He-Man, minus the axe.

Marvin Harrison – Harrison hasn’t played since Week 5 with a knee injury.  He is listed as questionable but expected to play.    My crazy conspiracy theory of the week is that Harrison had surgery and the Colts kept this a secret from everyone.  I also believe that dinosaurs are fake because according to Carl Everett, no one has ever seen a dinosaur and the bible doesn’t say anything about them.

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They look real to me Carl

CHARGER FANS NEED TO SHOW THESE GUYS SOME LOVE

Phil Rivers – I love his shit talking, errr passion.  Charger fans are pussies and have not yet embraced this guy the way they should.  Yeah he is cocky and has an arrogant smile, but that’s fucking rad because he plays for OUR team.  In his first season as a starter he led us to a 14-2 season and went to the Pro Bowl.  At 6’5 he is a physical specimen and weight room junkie.  He is a winner.  He has won at every level.  He has led us to come from behind victories (last year Cincinnati game and this year’s regular season and playoff game against a tough Titans team).  The guy never quits.  If Rivers has time to throw he will make plays.

Norv Turner – The media loves to hate on Norv Turner.  You know what I say to that?  Fuck the media.  Norv could have easily lost this team after a 1-3 start.  Instead we won our division, won our first playoff game in 14 years and the team is peaking at the right time.  I am also starting to dig his play calling of pushing the ball down the field.  Our WRs were wide open last weekend.

Show these guys some love.  With them running the team we have won 7 games in a row.

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The dynamic duo

SPECIAL TEAMS MATTER

-MIKE SCIFRES should be in the Pro Bowl.  He drops dimes on fools.

-Please take care of the ball SPROLES.  We don’t need another Eric Parker incident.

-Kasim Osgood you are the best around.

-David Binn is the only Charger left from the 1994 Super Bowl team.  He has also had sexual intercourse with Pamela Anderson.  He gets my vote for best all around long snapper.

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Would Hepatitis C stop you from long snapping with Pamela?

THE TURNOVER BATTLE

The Chargers led the league with 48 takeaways and turnover margin of plus -24.  Who was second in both categories?  The Colts with 37 takeaways and turnover margin of plus-18.

BOB SANDERS IS OVERATED

Bob Sanders was voted AP Defensive Player of the year.  Every writer in America has a boner for this guy because he is 5’8.  How could he have had a better year than Antonio Cromartie who only received three votes for this honor?  Once again, no love for a Bolt.

CONGRATS TO ALL OUR ASSOCIATED PRESS ALL PRO’S

Three Chargers were named to the team Associated Press All Pro team on Wednesday.  LaDainian Tomlinson was a unanimous selection.  Also named, Antonio Cromartie and Lorenzo Neal.

AROUND THE LEAGUE QUICK THOUGHTS

The NFC is boring.

Is there any question that the AFC is the dominate league?  The road to the Super Bowl is looking harder these days if you are an AFC team.

The Tony Romo/ Jessica Simpson story is retarded.

The only problem I have with Romo going to Cabo with Jessica Simpson is that her father went with them.  I hope he taxed that dingo up all weekend and the walls were thin enough for Joe to here.  I never want to know what it feels like/sounds like listening to your daughter get plowed by an NFL pro.

Even with Romo going to Cabo, Dallas should be fine and even finer if T.O. is healthy.  Just make sure Romo isn’t the holder on special teams.  We all know how that went last year.

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The Simpson PR machine was hard at work in Mexico this past weekend

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